Wednesday, 27 June 2012

The Dryer....

'Images depicted in this post are dramatisations of actual events'

I realised my mistake the second i put my head under the shower water, and in that same instant, my mind was flooded with images from that terrifying night over a week ago....

That evening had been hectic, with a late running shift at work, a brisk walk home and then getting monkey settled in for the night.  i jumped in the shower, not considering the late hour and proceeded to wash my hair.  Even after the realisation of what i had done hit me (wet hair at bed time) i wasn't concerned.  I am a female.  I have a Hair-dryer.

*Its at this point that i should have stopped and remembered that we purchased this hair-dryer so that my infant child could have all his wee creases and crannies dried properly in the damp winter months, not for any so called beauty routine that i might be fool-hardy enough to attempt*

I settled myself on the floor with my towel, and The Dryer, and the delusion that i knew what i was doing, and started to dry my hair.  I slowly swept the dryer over the top of my hair, then lifted my hair in sections to dry underneath like i'd seen in the movies (the Zohan counts right??).  I was starting to feel rather skilful in this wee beauty ritual that we women have undertaken for many many years, and i was even so bold as to 'shake my hair out' with my fingers whilst running The Dryer down the length of the strands, in an effort to achieve that 'just out of bed' look, just before bedtime.

I was considering opening my own salon when it happened.  A slight tug on the side of my head, just above the area i was drying.  Given my lack of hairbrush and actual skill, i figured that i had encountered a knot and blindly forged ahead.  Another slight tug, almost like a fish nibbling the bait, and then another, followed by a quiet crackling noise that stopped me in my tracks.  WhatTheHeck???  As panic rose in me like a mountain of lava i start to pull The Dryer away from my head....and it pulled back!!!

In my ever increasing hysteria my finger knocked the power switch off i managed to locate some common sense and switched The Dryer off, but by then it was too late. I was trapped.   Summoning all my strength i pulled against the might of 'The Dryer' only to be surrounded by the sound of ripping hair!  A small cry escaped my lips, causing Hubby to look up from his computer and stare at me in disbelief!  That look quickly turned to one of of hysterical laughter manic terror as he took in the situation!!

My Hubby, he's my ultimate hero, but even i, his biggest fan, doubted his ability to save me from the grasp of this Possessed Machine!!  He put up a gallant fight, he truly did, but the determination of 'The Dryer' proved too great!!  It's grip on my locks was superhuman, and there was just no releasing it!!

Finally, in a last ditch attempt to save the rest of my hair from certain death, he pulled, sacrificing the few, for the greater good!!  Freed from 'The Dryer' i fell back into his arms where we sat for a moment trying to absorb the horror of what had just taken place before Hubby shook his head at me and returned to his computer!

And so here i am, still really struggling to come to terms with what happened.  Sitting on my bed, hair dripping, far too late to let it dry naturally, staring at the place where 'The Dryer' launched it's attack.  'The Dryer' sits, and watches, and waits.  It knows that, soon, my head will get cold and i will be forced back into it's territory in the hopes of bringing warmth back to my chilled brain, closer to its terrifying grasp.....

Toodles.... :(

'Live for a Life without Hair'


  1. a bit frightening but funny. glad you're fine :)

  2. So sorry this happened to you but couldn't help but laugh =)

    1. Lol! Thanks for the sympathy guys!! It was actually hilarious and no less than what i expect whenever i attempt to be feminine!

  3. Thatis truly terrifying. I avoid blowdrying my hair at all costs but only because it takes forever and makes me too hot notbecause I've been attacked! Hopefully you can find a support group ;)