Friday, 19 August 2011

The real deal!!

Hi. My names Renee.  I have a jiggly tummy, a wobbly bum and if i jog my thighs rub together and set my trackies on fire.  My house is 90%  mess, 10% organised chaos (the floor is a form of filing).  I try to have a cooked meal for my husband and myself every night of the week, but he usually ends up cooking it.  I sometimes put my baby in his bouncinett in front the telly so i can make my breakfast with 2 hands, and i let him fall asleep on me for his day naps.  Some days i don't get to do more than run a flannel over my face and i haven't cleaned the shower in over a month.  I'm slow to reply to emails and txts and fb messages, and sometimes i forget altogether.  I have lotsa big ideas but lack the motivation to do them lately.  Exhaustion is as much a part of me now as the spill stains on my clothes.  I binge on chocolate on a regular basis (of the king size variety, if you break the pieces up the calories leak out....yup), then complain about my weight.  The list goes on really!

Why am i saying all this?? Because it's part of who i am.  And its the part i usually put the most focus on.  I ignore the fact that this isn't the whole me, i forget the awsumness that is hiding inside of me !  What i want, is to be able to just accept the above as almost being like a type of artwork that i am constantly improving....colorful, weird, and difficult to understand, but constantly evolving.  Id like to accept that the above is normal for a lot of new mums and that i'm not an unusual species that's failing miserably because i'm sill in my PJ's at 4pm sometimes, or sitting on the couch watching Disney Jr even after my bubby boos gone to sleep....ok, so i may be alone in that one, but Timmy Times just so cute!!!

  Recently i'v been inspired, by a couple of lovely ladies, to let go and just be, so for the next couple of weeks, i'm taking the pressure off my self to be Martha Stewart (Trust me, even Martha Stewart has issues keeping up with Martha Stewart).  Don't get me wrong, i don't plan on letting the house go to custard (mmmm, custard), but i will refuse to be disappointed if i don't vacuum or turn the dishwasher on before 10am (if at all).  I'm not gunna feel bad if Lachy has to amuse himself for 5 mins so i can have breakfast/lunch/dinner in peace, and im going to try to spend a wee bit more time on me (somehow).  What i'm saying is this.... I refuse to feel like a failure because i'm not meeting a set of standards that no one but me thinks i should meet.  And whats even crazier is that i don't even know where these standards come from (although i secretly blame the Brady Bunch and Barbie)!!!  So if anyone see's any disgruntled (I love that word, makes me think of lil piggys) or self bashing posts in the next couple of weeks, feel free to send me a good boot up the bum via the comments section!!!

I hope everyone else has a fab couple of pressureless (is that actually a word? Lets pretend it is) weeks!!  Hopefully tomorrow you'l be seeing piccys of the early progress of my latest project (see the breastfeeding post), but if you don't, panic not, they will get pressure :)


Ps: Here's a couple more pix of my gorgeous 3 month old Bubba!!!!

Not even pretending to sleep!!

Getting so strong!!

Practicing his 'shocked' look

So scrummy!!!

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